Progress:

Before

Little removing tack strips and staples from the subfloor



New paint, new underlayment and natural hickory hardwood

Little and Savageman removing old carpet and flooring

Brutal

No regrets, no looking back.

In the areas where we've worked this week, there is nothing left except those few things I could strongly justify keeping.  What I've saved for pure sentimental value is boxed up properly.  My storage areas are 3/4 empty.

And we're still not done.

As for the rest of the stuff that was cluttering up my house and constantly draining my energy?

I'm sitting here in my garage staring at it, hoping that people will give me money for it.  Half of my driveway is covered.

And right behind me is the trash.  Bags and bags and bags of it. 

I'm drained. 

Part of what makes this process so brutal - and it really has been brutal - isn't so much parting with the stuff.  It's stuff I wasn't using, wasn't missing, and in many cases didn't even know I had.  It's dealing with the fact that I ever let it get to this point in the first place.

Never. Again.

Ditto for the other things, people, thoughts and behaviors that distract me from the important things in my life, drain my tank, cause more hurt than happiness, lead to more frustration than enjoyment. 

I'm purging it all.  And this time, I'm being brutal about it.

Remembering how lovely my garden looked once I had yanked all the weeds.

Purging Purging Purging

I'm purging my life.

Purging my closets, purging my bookshelves, purging my basement, my kitchen, my bathrooms, my bedroom, my kids' toys, my storage areas, my old rugs and furniture.

Stuff I've held on to because I believed I still needed it - gone.

Stuff I've held on to because it was once precious to me - gone.

Stuff I've held on to because I hoped I might enjoy it again someday in the future - gone.

It's something I've needed to do for a long time, but I've been putting it off because I was afraid of making a mistake.

Now I realize that the real mistake was cluttering up my space, my attention, my life - with stuff that I don't need or want anymore.

It feels a little bit scary, all this purging, but it also feels

Positively

Exhilarating.

It's like weeding the garden but much more brutal. And, as with the garden, I know that after this initial investment of effort, future purges will be much, much easier. Once you clear out the weeds, it's easier to see the plants. And once the plants are allowed to grow and thrive, the weeds are easy to recognize for what they are and clear as they pop up.

Good things are coming, starting this week.  I am preparing to receive them with an uncluttered home and an open heart.

Quiet Morning, Quiet Fingers

It's a quiet morning.

Little is on the family room floor, enveloped in the blanket from his bed, playing with his Duplos and listening to the computer lessons on ancient Greece and Rome. That Dog is outside enjoying the sunshine and My Cat is sleeping on her back in a sunbeam, looking kind of silly with her paw covering her eyes. Middle is beginning to stir upstairs, and the Teen is halfway through his morning classes at school.

Plans are in the works for a Girls' Lunch Out with two of my favorite people at one of my favorite restaurants, so I'm happy to be getting the majority of Little's schoolwork out of the way this morning. Middle will work independently and review his work with me at the end of the day. Tonight he and I will do Kickboxing class together and then I will take Jung Sim Do class while he has Demo Team practice. He wants to compete at a NASKA tournament in NY this weekend, so he's been working especially hard.

Life is good. Things are calm and peaceful, both inside and out.

So I'm taking a few minutes to record it here because it's such a nice feeling.

My fingers have been quiet lately, not because I haven't had anything going on, but because much of my attention has been on the kids and their academic and social lives - not much that I would consider Blogworthy without violating their privacy.

As for me, the new routine of getting up at 6:40 a.m. to see the Teen off to school has knocked me off the coffee wagon. C'est la vie. Lovin' my morning coffee again. And my afternoon coffee, for that matter.

I didn't test for my green belt last weekend, choosing instead to take my time and make sure my yellow / stripe and green belt forms and techniques are more solid before moving ahead. At this point, there is a lot to memorize and keep track of, and my 41 year old brain needs frequent review and practice or the material quickly disappears, especially under pressure. Nothing challenges me physically and intellectually like this does, and for that I am grateful, despite the frustration I feel when I forget something or can't do it as well as I would like.

On the topic of physical challenges, I've been running more since the topic of the Philly Half Marathon came up. Monday I ran with a marathon-survivor friend and we did almost 4 miles - a new record for me. I find it a lot easier to run while conversing. Not sure if I will get anywhere close to 13 miles by the end of November, but it feels good to be building my endurance.

And it feels good to be moving my fingers again. I'll try to get back in the habit as time allows.

To Kate on her Birthday

We met 8 or 9 years ago.

A move-in La Leche League Leader (Leader Applicant?) with a toddler the same age as Middle and a small baby in your arms, a passion for attachment parenting and supporting nursing moms, paired with an unconventional approach to the world and a lack of tolerance for petty bullshit - it didn't take long for us to become close friends and confidantes.

Since then, we've led our LLL Group together, cyberschooled together, endured / enjoyed Lego Robotics teams together, and challenged ourselves at the dojang together. We've seen each other at our best and our worst, we've laughed and cried, talked each other "off the ledge" and logged countless (and I really mean countless) hours of in-depth conversations about life, parenting, marriage, interpersonal crap, strengths, weaknesses, perfectionism, frustrations, martial arts, literature, science, philosophy, education, gardening, homesteading, animal behavior, child behavior, adult behavior - and often the connections between the three.

We enrolled our young kids in Hogwarts Correspondence Academy one summer together and had much more fun with that than I think they ever did - putting together the curriculum, making wands, and imagining that owls were delivering lessons to our houses.

We've planned adventures and field trips, we've hiked and camped, relaxed at the pool and tubed on the creek.

We've also kicked, punched, grappled, swept, thrown, twisted and pinned each other. We've practiced kata, stressed over tests, talked through frustrations and celebrated each other's successes both in and out of the dojang.

You've shared your children with me and have loved and supported my own kids unwaveringly, even at their worst moments. You've helped me step back and see things through their eyes when I was ready to disown them; you've been the calm in my parenting storm more times than I can count.

You've seen me through some of the darkest times I've had, and have loved and listened and nurtured and served as the Voice of Reason more times than anyone should ever have to.

So today, on your birthday, I'm celebrating you and how much your friendship has meant to me these many years. Your impact on my life, my sanity, and my own journey as a mother, a wife, a martial artist, and a person has been immesurable. I love you dearly and wish for you a year of happiness and success, especially as you prepare for the challenges of 1) puberty and 2) your black belt test. (Both of which you will handle masterfully, I might add.) You are one of the strongest, smartest, and most loyal people I know and I am so grateful to have you in my life.

Happy Birthday!

XOXOX

Blogging on the Phone

So I finally got a Smartphone.

And this is gonna be short because I still don't have the hang of the touchscreen typing yet.

Fortunately my phone has an option that allows me to merely speak the words and they will appear on the screen. And I just used it.

Okay, that was totally cool. And a lot faster than typing with my thumbs.

I've downloaded facebook, my Nook books, and a bunch of other fun things. But no games. games would eat up what little extra time I have.

It's bittersweet giving up my old Tracfone, which does absolutely nothing cool, but has served me well over the many years I have had it. I once dropped it in a snow-covered field on a Girl Scout trip and went back to look for it two days later. When I called it, I heard its happy little ring right away. "I'm over here! Good to see you again!"

That kind of loyalty isn't easy to find in this world, let me tell you.

So now I have this new fancy-schmancy phone, and I'm already enjoying it very much. But I won't throw out my old Tracfone. My plan is to keep it around to hand to Little on occasion. He named it Kitty Fish Bar many years ago, for reasons I have yet to understand, and I know they will continue to have many good times together.

:-)

Okay, I'm Back

It was a beautiful wedding.

My sweet, wonderful cousin - who was just a little kid at my own wedding - married her best friend and soulmate today in a beautiful outdoor ceremony. A truly joyful occasion, and a wonderful chance to catch up with family members I don't often get to see.

Almost right away, two of them told me how glad they are that I'm blogging again and how much they enjoy and identify with what I write.

This came exactly a week after I had given it up, thinking no one would miss it, and feeling like the daily writing was becoming a bit of a chore.

A nudge from the Universe to start back up? Perhaps.

Another nudge came from my Philadelphia cousin who strongly encouraged me to train for the Philly Half-Marathon (he's running the entire marathon, but there's a half option too). 13.1 miles at the end of November could actually be do-able if I start training now.

I'm absolutely enthralled with the book Born To Run, which is teaching me all about running the way Nature intended, why Minimal Footwear is preferable to cushiony Nikes, and how people who do it right can run 100-mile Ultramarathons (which sort of puts 13.1 miles into perspective).

I have a place to stay and someone to line up with at the start of the race.

Savageman might consider it also.

So I printed out some training and injury-prevention programs to read tomorrow. My first priority this week is to decide if I am ready to test for my Green Belt Saturday, but getting my butt outside for a 4 mile run in the mornings certianly wouldn't hurt. And experience has taught me that the rest of my day tends to go much better when I start off that way.

Giving it some serious thought, and feeling grateful for my cousins and other family members I so enjoyed seeing today.

Peak Run

I took off this morning for a run. Ran my heart out to a loop of this song as Hurricane Irene rolled in. Feeling one with the pavement, one with the music, one with the storm, one with the rain... it was like nothing else. Arrived home drenched in sweat and rain - feeling cleansed and clear-headed - and much better.

It was a Peak Experience.

First Day

Saw the Teen off to his first day of Sophmore year this morning.

He's been much better about transitions in these last months. We've had one vacation departure and one first day of school now with minimal outbursts and anxiety. Hoping his day is going well.

My own Inner Teen has been sulking a bit over things she can't change. I'm giving her a little space to pout, but not much. I tell her what I tell the kids - It is what it is. It's your choice to either sulk and be sad about what you're missing, or to focus on all that you do have, be grateful for it, and get on with your life. Either way, it's your choice and you have to own it.

At times like this, I try to keep her busy doing the kinds of things she likes. She's a sweet girl, my Inner Teen, and while she's only a small part of me, her needs are important too. I love her and want her to be happy.

Catching My Breath

So it's been a really busy week.

I woke up last Thursday, took the boys to martial arts, took class myself, went out to lunch, handed the kids off to hang with their friends, came home, packed and headed for Maryland with a bunch of Girl Scouts.

Had a great time in Ocean City and on Assateague Island.

Came home Sunday, took a shower, did some laundry, checked in with Savageman and the Teen, spent a night in my own bed then packed up Middle and Little for Ohiopyle with our friends early Monday afternoon.

We arrived, checked out the area, set up camp, ate, slept. Tuesday morning we rented bikes and rode 26 miles round-trip on the Great Allegheny Passage Trail before the natural water slides, which were a great hit with the kids. (I didn't slide, but I did enjoy soaking my tired legs in the cold mountain spring water.)

The next day, we got up, broke down camp and headed out to Cucumber Falls for more water fun, then did the guided tour of Laurel Caverns. We took a short hike to a scenic overlook before the ride home, and a stop for dinner together along the way.

Although we did a lot, the pace was leisurely enough that we didn't feel rushed. We took our time. Our friends had taken care of all the planning and shopping and it was nice to be along for the ride this trip.

And now I'm back. Savageman had cleaned the house (particularly the garage) in my absence, which was really wonderful. The Teen had written drafts of his two papers, worked a bunch of hours at his McJob, and had prepared for school, which starts tomorrow. I was impressed at how well they were able to (with the help of my parents) hold down the fort, even during a work week. A confidence-builder for us all.

Today was spent editing the papers with him before his McJob, repacking and reshelving the camping bins, doing tons of laundry, mowing the lawn, grocery shopping, helping Little make his first Boston Cream Pie from scratch, etc. Busy busy, but with plenty of time for reflection alone while mowing and on the phone with my camping friend while we were unpacking. Much to think about as we transition into a new school / homeschool year.

None of which I am ready to write about yet.

So for now I will say that I am grateful for the opportunity to travel this last week and to see so many beautiful places with some truly wonderful people. It reminds me of how much more there is to see and do while the kids are still young. I'm eager to do more as circumstances allow. There's still a bunch of backpacking equipment on the shelf waiting to be put to use and a whole lot of destinations on my travel wish list.

I'm optimistic that I will find the time and the companions to make it happen.

:-D

Home Again

... for the moment.

While I was sitting on the beach watching the scouts ride the waves, I got a call from my friend asking if the smaller Savages and I wanted in on a camping trip to Ohiopyle she was planning for this week. Meaning I would be getting home, unpacking, spending a night in my own bed, then packing up for the woods again the next morning.

Sure, why not?

So that's the plan. I'm actually looking forward to time away with the boys, since I kind of missed them while I was camping with the girls these last days. I would have preferred that Savageman join us too, but he has to work. As does the Teen, who also has two essays to write before the start of school Friday.

But the three of us spending a few days with our good friends exploring Ohiopyle should be a fun time. Our friends are familiar with the area and what it has to offer, and the meals and activities have been pretty much planned so all we have to do is to pack and show up.

For now, I'm relaxing, appreciating hanging with my Savageman and being in my house - which is remarkably clean thanks to him - and decompressing quickly from the last 4 days' excitement.

Grateful for a hubby and parents who support my volunteer activities, especially when they have to hold down the fort for several days. Also grateful for a Troop of Leaders and girls who have made me feel so welcome and appreciated, and for good friends to camp again with this week.

Feeling quite blessed.

And tired.

But in a good way.

Boardwalk Scenes

Road Trip

Headed here with my Girl Scouts!

Weeding Once Again

This time, I was uncharacteristically Brutal.

The thorny raspberries that keep pushing their way through the fence into my tomatoes and peppers? Gone.

The "volunteer" pumpkins that all but took over the whole garden this year? Gone.

Any of the veggies that weren't producing, weren't pulling their weight, weren't justifying their existence in my garden? Yep. Gone.

Sorry, lame veggies.

It took more than 4 hours of work, but I have reclaimed my garden. And, as always, I have come away with Insights.

Sometimes you have to be Brutal.

I once told someone that I "didn't have it in me." I once broke down in the changing room after having to fight my close friend during class, fearing my own ability to hurt her.

I let plants I didn't really want take over my garden because I didn't have the heart to kill them.

No more.

I am Strong. I am Fierce. I am Brutal.

Fear Me.

And admire my garden.

Hanging on to Summer

Today, School for Middle and Little consisted of morning at the dojang, pizza buffet lunch with their ninja buddies, a long stretch at the park, and back to the dojang for more classes and more time with the ninja buddies.

Middle's still there - I doubt he'll be doing any other work today.

But that's okay. It was an absolutely beautiful day to spend at the park. It was 80 degrees and a little breezy; the sound of the cicadas filled the air, as did the smell of someone's barbeque. The kids spent the first part of our time there impressing each other with their feats of strength and flexibility - and bravery - jumping and flipping and climbing in new and interesting ways the playground equipment and wide open fields afforded them. Then Little and his buddy took off on their scooters while Middle and 3 of his bffs lay in a heap on the grass with their heads resting on each other, staring at the sky, talking and laughing and probably playing Truth or Dare. (I'm guessing becuase every so often, one of them would get up and do something goofy.)

It was positively idyllic - I hope these are the memories he carries away from his Tween years - warmth and acceptance from longtime friends, laughing and playing and sharing secrets and making each other friendship bracelets.

Which is what they did when we got back to the dojang - took off for the craft store and came back with string to make friendship bracelets while they waited for their classes to start and while I took kickboxing.

Between classes, they walked across the street to get dinner together, then came back for Competition Team practice. Where they'll likely be until 9 or so.

Definitely a long day, but a very full one.

Easing Back In

Today was our first day.

Both homeschoolers did French on Rosetta Stone for their allotted time. Little made Lemon Squares from scratch, Middle made a bunch of friendship bracelets, and The Teen went shoe shoppping with Grandma, did his French (although he's been doing that all summer) and started work on his English packet.

And I made a Real Dinner we actually sat down and ate together.

I know, it doesn't sound like much, but the beauty of homeschooling is that we can take a few weeks to gradually get used to the routine, adding a little more each day.

Transitioning into a new schedule is never easy for our family, including me. I am sorry to admit that I was not the friendliest person. A few supportive phone calls from my friends and a new espresso machine* Mom picked up for me helped get me through the day. No martial arts for me this evening - I was pretty full from eating dinner at 5. That part of the schedule will need to be tweaked. Perhaps Lunch will be our sit-down meal. At noon.

Snuggling up to watch a movie tonight and finish my lesson planning for the year. I have a bunch of great supplemental science and art projects chosen and put on the calendar - hoping this year we get to do them all. The more I do ahead of time, the better it is in the long run.

Grateful for the opportunity to teach Middle and Little for at least one more year, and for a first day that didn't go too badly.

The Lemon Bars were delicious.



*I haven't completely fallen off the coffee wagon; I'm just happy to have it now as an occasional treat instead of a daily necessity.

Barefoot / Chi Running Day!

So I spent a good part of this morning reading about and watching videos on different ways to run.

This is something to which I haven't really given much thought, even though I've been running with some regularity since I got my Vibrams in April.

But reading Born to Run has been such an experience so far, I needed to learn more about "natural" running. And, as it turns out, children and members of native tribes known for their running abilities do run differently than most American adults.

I've just started learning about this, and there's a lot of information out there. This site has some really interesting stuff I'll be sure to spend some time with, and youtube has a lot of videos showing in slow motion the difference between running in shoes vs. running barefoot or in "minimal footwear" (like the Vibrams) and running with the heel strike vs. the midfoot or forefoot strike.

Fascinating stuff!

Of course, I had to try it out for myself. Savageman, Middle and I went to the gym and I spent quite a bit of time on the treadmill, in my Vibrams, focusing on keeping my feet under my hips (not out in front), striking with my forefoot, and kicking my heels up to almost hit my butt. Middle still seems to do this naturally, but for me, it felt very different.

After the initial burn in my calves and thighs settled down, I found my rhythm and it was all very easy. When I got to the end of the time I had set for myself, I started the cooldown and changed my mind - I wanted to do more. I did stop myself soon after that, remembering that it's important to start with smaller distances when making a transition, but I felt good enough to keep going. We'll see how I feel tomorrow. Despite the martial arts conditioning routine I've been following, I'm expecting to be a little sore.

Taking an Aleve and putting those legs up. Maybe Savageman will rub them while we watch a movie together.

:-)

Grown-Up Time / Teen Time

Tonight was the first night in recent history that, instead of entertaining Middle's group of friends, Savageman and I went out to a party with a group of grown-up friends of our own.

It was fun. I got to catch up with people I hadn't seen in a while, and see Savageman out in public, where he is very charming and funny - both very nice things.

Having a group of the martial arts kids here was also very fun for me, though. Even though they are technically Middle's friends, I work out with them at the dojang too, and many of them outrank me and are just as much friends and mentors to me as they would be if they were adults. The teenage girls especially hold a special place in my heart, because in some Alternate Universe somewhere, I was just as strong and brave and capable as they are. They represent everything I would have loved to have seen in myself as a young teen, and hopefully they know I think the world of each and every one of them.

I had some quality Girl Time last week with them, and am looking forward to more Girl Time this week, and even more next weekend when I head to Assateague Island with my scouts. I think the world of them too.

At this age (middle school & early high school), it's my belief that the more people in a girl's life who think the world of her, the better. Not in an indulgent way, of course, but in a high-expectations, high-accountability kind of way.

Feeling grateful tonight for both my adult friends and the Teens and Tweens in my life.

:-)

The Art and Science of Gratitude

I recently came across some interesting articles like this and this regarding the benefits of taking some time each day to write about things that are going well, aspects of the day to be happy about, people and events to be grateful for.

Robert Emmons and his colleagues at U.C. Davis have found that people who keep a daily gratitude journal report more optimism and satisfaction with their lives, sleep better, and are generally healthier for doing so. They've also found that, while reports of general happiness fluctuate with the events of daily life, establishing a daily practice of noticing and writing about gratitude-inspiring events can help change an individual's "set point" for happiness.

"The set point concept is supported by research that shows that people return to a characteristic level of happiness a short time after both unusually good and unusually bad events. But the research on gratitude suggests that people can move their set point upward to some degree, enough to have a measurable effect on both their outlook and their health."

Emmons asserts that gratitude is a choice that we make - not only in what we journal about, but where we choose to direct our attention, what we talk about with others, and who we choose to surround ourselves with.

"If we hang out with ungrateful people, we will ‘catch' one set of emotions; if we choose to associate with more grateful individuals, the influence will be in another direction. Find a grateful person and spend more time with him or her."

Given that our own attitude can infect those of others, it follows that it would be difficult to raise positive, happy, upbeat, resiliant children if we don't model these attitudes ourselves.

An article in Mental Health News suggests: "At the end of each day, talk to your children and help them reflect on their day and think about the things that made it a good day. By ending each day thinking about what happened that made them happy, you can help them learn to accentuate the positive events in their lives."

While I haven't yet begun a structured activity like this with my kids each night, they do see my own habit of ending the day by blogging about something I feel good about, and I hope that something about that practice or the effect it has on my attitude is rubbing off on them. Even if it's been a difficult day here at home, I can write about martial arts or a book I'm enjoying - there's always some good I can find if I think about it.

No one's life is without its share of challenges, but facing those challenges with an optimistic spirit and a focus on blessings rather than curses - and keeping company with people who do the same - can have a major impact, not only on our own lives, but of the lives entrusted to us.

Daily gratitude journaling is one powerful step in reshaping - not only attitude - but, indirectly, the culture of the whole family.

Movie Night

Middle and the martial arts gang having an impromptu movie night. Watching Scott Pilgrim and baking chocolate peanut butter bars.

Best. Kids.

:-)

Eating Post-Workout

Tonight I vowed to cook.

Even though I was, as usual, not going to be home from martial arts until 9ish, I had a plan in mind that involved fresh, local ingredients and a small amount of work to prepare. Once I got home, that is.

But here's the thing. I can't eat for a few hours before I go. Doing what we do on anything but an empty stomach is asking for... upchuck. I think we finished kickboxing with 25 Burpees, 200 crunches and 100 leg lifts - and that was the wrap-up. And all of this was before the hour of Jung Sim Do class, which wasn't a cakewalk either.

Not that I'm complaining, of course. It's honestly the highlight of my day.

But afterward, I'm waiting for Middle to finish up with his Demo and Competition Team friends, and I'm ravenous, so I eat a Lemon Cliff Builder Bar with 20 grams of protein. And it kind of fills me up.

But I have this plan!!! So I get home, husk my fresh local corn, heat the grill, roast the corn on the grill and mix up some cilantro/lime butter.

Then I get out the magazine with the great recipe in it, wash the cherry tomatoes from my friend's garden, cut up the fresh olives I got in the gourmet section of the store yesterday, rip up the bread from the same gourmet section, toss it in extra-virgin olive oil, slice up garlic and onion from the CSA farm, peppers from my own garden, and I roast all of this in the oven.

By now it is about 9:30. Savageman and the kids have eaten a Tony's frozen pizza and have moved on with their night. I'm alone with 5 ears of corn and an oven full of delicious food. I eat two of the ears of grilled corn with the cilantro/lime butter and they are delicious. I call for the other Savages. No response.

When my bread, tomatoes, olives, etc. are cooked, I toss them with balsamic vinegar, salt and pepper. Fabulous. But way too much for me, especially since I already had the Bar. And now two ears of corn, the rest of which are getting cold. I call again. No one's interested. I eventually guilt Savageman into eating some of it and he complains that eating this late will make him fat.

No kidding. But when else am I going to cook?

C'est la vie. After the large glass of red wine and the Aleve, I'm no longer feeling pain or irritation. I'm getting in a hot bath with my full stomach and a book about ultramarathon runners.

I'll deal with the leftovers tomorrow.

Sew Happy

Feeling very pleased with myself tonight.

Faced with a rainy morning alone (the boys all slept in), I dug out my giant bin of fabric, the ironing board and iron, and the sewing machine. The fabric was a jumbled up mess. My best guess is that the bin tipped over at some point and someone (possibly even me) just stuffed it all back in there. And didn't touch it again for several years.

So, one piece at a time, I ironed, folded, and organized all the fabric. Little helped after he woke up. It took all morning, but it was so satisfying to see it back in the bin nice and neat, ready for use in a project.

After a shopping trip, our usual two+ hours of martial arts, and some homemade guacamole (I'm on a kick), I actually used the fabric and the sewing machine to make something fun. No one helped this time, but Little did watch me use the sewing machine, and he stuffed a small pillow for himself. Middle checked out the new sewing kit I had picked up for myself at the craft store, and strongly objected when I tried to stick some pins in the cute little tomato pincushion. He's sensitive like that when he's not kicking butt.

Little made an Oreo / pudding dessert while we were at martial arts and he is now looking through the new Hershey cookbook we picked up on the shopping trip. So tomorrow may be a baking day. If I leave the sewing machine and fabric out, it may turn out to be another sewing day as well. Maybe we'll make some whimsical sock creatures - that used to be a favorite activity with them.

Glad the little Savages enjoy cooking and sewing in addition to baseball and karate and soccer and basketball. Although I do want to stick pins in my tomato without being accused of cruelty.

:-)

Happy Birthday!

Today is the birthday of one of my dearest friends.

I can't think of a better occasion to write about how much I love and appreciate her.

One of the most caring and nurturing people I know, she's always there to listen, to hug, to offer wisdom, or to put together a hike or a girl-day, often before I even realize it's exactly what I was needing. She's smart and perceptive and has a unique sense of fun that makes her a joy to be with.

Visiting her home is like spending an afternoon at a spa. Beautiful and open, filled with light and growing things and pleasant smells, it's one of my favorite places to retreat to - such a contrast to my House of Men. There's usually something yummy to eat or a healthy smoothie to drink, and something crafty available to do together. The love and attention she puts into her home inspires me to do what I can to improve the quality of my own surroundings, knowing the good feeling that comes from such a peaceful space. I always return home feeling refreshed and rejuvinated after a visit with her.

One of the things I admire and appreciate most about my friend is her openness to learning and growing in new ways. Whether it's learning to paint or quilt, writing fiction, baking homemade bread, taking zumba dance classes, or going back to school, she embraces opportunities to challenge and enrich herself in new and exciting ways. She leads by example, showing her kids the value of trying something new and working hard to master it, while at the same time being patient and forgiving if perfection doesn't come right away. As a result, she's a great source of information and wisdom on so many different subjects. Decorating, gardening, nutrition, health, writing, movies, books... I've been blessed on so many occasions to have had her as a resource in so many ways.

And she can skim a book - with full comprehension - in one sitting. How awesome is that???

Because I've known her and her husband since our kids were wee little, I've seen theirs grow through the years into some of the best people I know. I'm so blessed to have her, and her whole family, in my life.

Happy birthday, beautiful friend - with love and gratitude for all that you are!

XO

The Details

Okay, so here's our story from D.C. this weekend.

We arrived Friday afternoon. Checked into the tournament, checked into the hotel. Two teammates were competing in the XMA (Extreme Martial Arts) portion of the tournament - both dropped their weapons and were disqualified. It happens.

We went out to dinner at a wonderful Italian restaurant in National Harbor, down the street from the hotel. Had gourmet personal pizzas and good fun together with the other 18 parents and kids who were there.

Back to the hotel, where Middle and Little had goofy fun in the hotel room until Much Too Late. Little made himself a nest in the closet, Middle and I took the two beds. Middle woke me up at about 4 a.m. saying he was having a hard time sleeping. Thanks, Middle.

Got up Super Extra Early for a run and some laps in the pool, which we had to ourselves. Then we headed for the tournament.

Middle started with weapons - and again, he's been working so hard on this nunchakau form, he really had high hopes for it. And he looked spectacular - until he dropped one of his 'chucks - then hit himself in the eye, then did his release but couldn't catch it because he no longer had binocular vision... all in all, it didn't go well.

Open hand forms didn't go so well either. He was pretty discouraged.

I got him an energy drink. 130 mg of caffeine seemed to perk him up quite a bit. He geared up for sparring.

Sparring in a NASKA tournament is different than any sparring he's ever done before. It's full contact, meaning you can hit the person anywhere and as hard as you want. Because of this, you have to wear a chest protector and face guard in addition to the helmet, gloves, boots and mouthguard he already wears. Also, instead of 1st person to get 3 points wins, these rounds go 2 minutes. Kicks are 2 points, punches 1 point. If you have at least 7 points and are up by at least 5, they will end the match before the two minutes are up.

This actually seemed to work well for Middle, who is often hesitant because he knows he can't hit the head or crotch. Here, he could just go full-force without worrying about pulling his kicks and punches. He won his first round.

His teammate, and one of his best friends, won his first 2 rounds. They now had to fight each other. Considering how quickly he had won those rounds (well before the 2 minutes were up), I was expecting him to do the same with Middle. They're usually a pretty equal match when they spar in the dojang. Much to my surprise, it was Middle who won in probably under a minute.

Now he had to fight the other undefeated guy for 1st place. He fought really hard for the full two minutes and lost 7-4. So he finished in 2nd place.

The best part? Their ring had a large group so it was taking a long time to get through their events. By the time they were starting these sparring matches, the rest of the team were done with their events so everyone was there to cheer for Middle and their other teammate. Every time either of them scored a point during their combined 5 matches, there was a huge erruption of noise as about 25 people cheered and celebrated. (It was a little more subdued during their match against each other, for obvious reasons.) What a thrill to have some of his closest friends and mentors standing by to cheer him on and encourage him to "Be! Aggressive! Be-Be Aggressive!" and to hug and high-five him when it was over.

It was time to go for Mexican food. Rosa Mexicana has the best guacamole ever. We ate a lot, went back to the hotel, the gang of kids took off together while the grown-ups had some down time, and then we got back together for the Big Show where all the cool XMA people did their amazing stuff on stage. Video below.

We got home at about 1:30 a.m., tired and happy. So proud of Middle and all his teammates. What a great experience overall!

That's One Big Trophy

We came home from Middle's very first national NASKA tournament in D.C. with this, which he won for kicking some serious butt.

More tomorrow.

US Capitol Classic Tournament

We are here.

Looking forward to a weekend of watching Middle and his teammates kick and punch and twirl weapons with the best in the country.

If nothing else, it will be a great show and a fun weekend away.

I Could So Get Used to This...

It's latelatelate and I just returned from yet ANOTHER jam-session on my lovely friend's back deck.

So. Much. Fun.

It's a gorgeous moonlit night, there's a campfire burning poolside, and we're taking turns with the guitar with the crickets and cicadas singing backup, looking up chords and lyrics, working out harmonies, telling stories of concerts we've been to, sharing memories we've attached to various songs from our youth, eating and drinking and laughing and high-fiving each other late into the night.

Her friend is visiting from out of town with her family and the friend's husband plays the guitar for real, so this time I could just sing and enjoy.

I had to finally tear myself away, but it wasn't easy. The martial arts competition is in D.C. tomorrow and Saturday - I need some sleep. I did leave the guitar for them to enjoy this weekend - so glad to know it will be put to good use. As always, I'm vowing to make the time to learn some new chords, learn some new songs - even though she's always happy with the same old stuff I play every time. At least now I have some callouses on my fingertips.

Going to bed feeling positively blissful after a week of 2+ hours per day at martial arts - and two much-deserved nights out with friends.

Tank full, batteries recharged.

Happy me.

:-)

Pain...

... is weakness leaving the body.

That's what we tell ourselves, anyway.

I'm no longer at the point where I feel every workout the next day, but I'm feeling it now. Especially in the arm and shoulder regions. Not sure if it was all the pushups and planks earlier in the week or being repeatedly thrown on the mat by the 19-Year-Old-Wonder - I love that guy - but I'm feeling it tonight.

My home remedy for post-workout muscle aches? Aleve and red wine. (Anti-inflammatories and muscle relaxants.) And a hot shower or bath.

Which is where I'm headed.

And that's all the whining I'm going to do. Pain: physical, emotional, spiritual - is often an essential step toward a stronger body, mind and heart. I'm learning to embrace it and all that it has to teach me.

This is the strongest I've been in so many ways, and I have - in large part - the pain to thank for that.

Feeling so very blessed to have these aching muscles.

:-)

Outta Time

The little sproingy thing on my watch broke early last week.

This watch is the last thing I take off when I get in the shower and the first thing to go back on. And unless I'm in the shower or the pool or the dojang, it's been a fixture on my arm since around when Middle was conceived.

So it's a little weird being without it.

For the first day or so, I must have looked at my bare wrist 500 times.

The next couple of days were better - if I really needed to know what time it was, I pulled out my cell phone and looked at it.

Now I don't even do that.

There's something about being all Zen in the summer, just doing stuff with the kids and not needing to know what time it is (other than for martial arts classes.)

Looking forward to a few more weeks of hanging out at the pool, in the woods, and with our friends just enjoying the summer with no time constraints.

Not hurrying to get my watch fixed. My arm and my spirit are lighter without it.

100% Better

Dance music is pounding, I'm drenched in sweat, my arms and legs are shaking. "Five more seconds." I'm holding a side plank and those last five seconds feel like ten minutes. It takes every ounce of my concentration and will to stay up. "On your backs for leg raises! Right away! Go!" I flip over and focus on my breathing as I watch my legs move up and down to the beat.

Then we're back up for more kicking and punching. Side kicks. First speed, then power. More speed, then power. Switch. I hold the bag for my partner, who's driving through me, but I can't let myself be knocked backward - I need to be a strong target for her. I let out my air with each strike and lean into it. My turn again, and I try to hit harder this time. She's solid, strong. I can go as hard as I want. I think through the bag and try to push her back with each kick.

Punches. Speed, then power. My knuckles are starting to feel raw, even with the gloves, so I mix it up. Jab cross. Jab jab cross. Hook uppercut. Knife hand ridge hand. Ridge hand knife hand. Palm strike palm strike. Switch. She's pummeling me but I stand strong and lean into the strikes.

Back on the floor for crunches and leg raises. Planks. More crunches.

Jumping front kicks, jumping roundhouse kicks. I hurl myself through the air, hitting the bag with everything I've got. I dig in while my partner does the same.

Finally, after an hour of this, we stretch. We're dripping wet, relieved it's over, happy, dancing, guzzling water and Gatorade, high-fiving each other, then dashing into the changing room to get into our gis for class.

Bowing in.

I'm in the second row, right behind the red and black belts. Class isn't much easier. The Sabumnim didn't take kickboxing tonight so she's not thinking about what we've just been through with the Master. She puts us through more of the same. Pushups, crunches. Do a form. Do a form with a pushup between each move. Tap drills. Run through all 20 fighting techniques including trips and falls. Run through all 20 fighting techniques from the opposite stance. My partner is 19 and he's amazing. One of my favorite people to work with. We show each other no mercy. Seven lap sprints. Crescent jumping inside crescent kicks from both stances. All 36 Tae Kwon Do actions. Jab cross hook uppercut roundhouse low high back leg. Back to forms. I haven't done this form in weeks - I struggle to remember the complicated string of moves. My mind races to keep up while my body is on autopilot. More pushups. Crunches. Pushups. Crunches. The hour's up.

Bowing out.

And now I'm home. The cat is purring on my lap, I'm enjoying a Belgian white beer, getting ready to put in the laundry, take a shower and put the kids to bed and feeling...

wonderful.

Strong, healthy, calm, relaxed, centered.

I wish it didn't take 2+ hours of torture to get to this, but if it does, I'll gladly take it. Any day. Every day.

Deep sigh.

Lest You Think...

... that everything is always hunky-dorey in Savageland, it's not.

I post about the good things, the happy things, the stuff on which I would like to keep my focus.

The trials and tribulations of raising these boys, particularly the special-needs Teen, are not so much fun to read - or write - about.

So I generally don't.

But for the last 36 hours, I've been immersed in Teen angst, and there's really not much else for me to write about tonight.

I'm not a martyr, I'm not a whiner. Life is tough. That's just reality. We play the hand we're dealt, and it is ultimately each person's choice to go through life either as a Tigger or an Eeyore. (Yes, we just finished listening to The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch on CD on the trip to NC.)

Tempting as the pull toward Eeorishness can be at times like this, I have made the decision to make the best of my life and be happy - to be the best Tigger I can be - and that is part of why I have started the daily blogging habit. It gives me a chance each day to focus on what is going well, what I'm doing to take care of myself and my family, what I'm working toward and looking forward to.

Ending the day - no matter how hard a day it was - on a positive note is a valuable tool for me. I will now set aside the Crisis Of The Week and focus on some of the things I'm looking forward to over the course of the next month or so:

preparing for our school year, hiking and camping, reading and relaxing at the pool, cooking with Little (lots of local food right now), weeding my garden and planting some fall crops, kickboxing and karate with Middle, testing for my green belt, running, taking the Girl Scouts to Assateague Island, the start of the THS Soccer season and fall baseball, Book Club, sewing / quilting, more late night guitar jams under the stars (had a great one Friday night), planning a trip with friends, watching movies with Savageman, reading together in bed...

Speaking of which... (yawn)



"Tiggers don't like excessive teen angst."

Keystone State Games

Middle's second competition at the advanced level went a lot better than the first.

Everyone credits the haircut.

I also credit the huge amount of work this kid has put in, both in and out of the dojang over the last month especially.


His first event was weapons. Usually his best event, and the one he works hardest at, he tied for second with his double-nunchaku creative form, complete with the aerial he's been working on since last year. For the tiebreaker, he and the other competitor had to repeat their performances. She won. He got the bronze medal.



Next was open-hand forms. This time, there was a three-way tie for second. Each of them had to repeat their form, and this time he won the silver.



Finally, fighting. Not usually his best event. In the last competition, he got a third-place trophy, mainly because two opponents had been disqualified for illegal contact. This time, he won the two rounds he fought 3-1 and 3-0. A huge improvement for him. Gold medal.



The best part, of course, was all the fun they had. What a great group of kids and parents - we're blessed to have them all as such a big part of our lives.







Next weekend: Washington, D.C. We can't wait.
:-)

Nurturing My Spirit

... and loving every minute of it.

Happy for my friends who are doing the same.

Hoping my kids will live happy and fulfilling lives as well, in whatever form that takes for them.

Grateful for my life, my home, my family and my friends.

:-)

Girl Time, Crafty Time

I spent a huge chunk of time with one of my favorite people today, without kids (a rare treat!). We went to a quilt show at the Hershey Lodge and immersed ourselves in this beautiful art, with which we both have a small amount of experience. Vendors selling fabric, thread, patterns and kits, sewing machines, accessories, and of course, quilts, filled one room. In the other was an exihibition of the best quilts, many of which were absolutely breathtaking.

Once you've tried your hand at something like quilting, you gain a real appreciation for all of the work that goes into one of these works of art. The piecing, the stitches and other technical elements that require such painstaking effort from a beginner were amazing enough. Add to that the beauty and creativity of so many of the quilts - it was quite something to experience.

I came away inspired to dig out my fabric and play. The sewing machine is still handy from the other night - all I need is to set aside another chunk of time to nurture my crafty side.

So grateful for a good friend who knows how much I need these kinds of things from time to time...

:-)

August NaBloPoMo

The August NaBloPoMo theme has been announced: Fiction.

My immediate thought? What a great opportunity! I'll get back to work on my fun NaNoWriMo fiction from November and post a section each day on the blog. Or write a series of short stories related to said fiction and post one per week.

Several other ideas of how to use the August blogging theme to further my fun fiction piece came to mind.

And quickly departed.

What, am I crazy?

People might actually read my fun fiction if I post it on the blog.

They might think it sucks. Or, even worse, they might think it's good. They might wonder what other kinds of wacky stuff go on in that head of mine. (The two people in the world who know are smiling and nodding their heads right now...) They might see elements of themselves in this or that character and think I'm writing about them. They might want to talk about it or ask me questions about it.

I hate answering questions.

All of these thoughts give me a much deeper appreciation for what real authors go through in the process of allowing other people access to their own inner creative worlds.

If I ever do finish NaNoWriMo and actually publish something, it will be under a pseudonym. I'll suddenly have a boat or a vacation house or at least hardwood flooring in my living room and people will wonder where the money came from.

I'll never tell.

;-)

I Can Quit Anytime

And I did.

Health-conscious as I am, I'll admit to my share of vices. Namely dark chocolate, red wine... and coffee.

Which, as far as vices go, I will happily defend and point to many studies conducted by real scientists that suggest there may be real health benefits associated with these products. For example, women coffee-drinkers are less likely to suffer from depression. Reason enough to brew a big pot of the stuff.

Overwhelmed with three small children at home - each with his own challenges, an always-messy house, and an unrealistic and insurmountable daily To-Do list, I began drinking coffee in earnest after Little was born. I needed it to keep both my spirits and my energy up.

There was a joke among my La Leche League friends about the time we were at the International Convention in D.C. and he was about 18 months old. The luncheon speaker was a researcher presenting his study on how breastfeeding doesn't only provide nutrition, it provides information. Baby animals know what plants are safe to eat because they have been exposed to the taste in their mothers' milk. What our babies experience in our milk, they go on to prefer once they are feeding themselves, he was saying... just as my baby, who was sitting on my lap at the table, reached across for my coffee cup and helped himself.

My secret was out.

But everyone at the table understood because they were just as coffee-centered as I was. Tired, overwhelmed, trying to get through the day as cheerfully and clear-headedly as possible, we were all self-medicating with the Almighty Bean. And that was okay.

Here at home, coffee was a major part of my social life. "Stop by for coffee." "A group of us are getting together for coffee." "Let's go out for coffee." I have a lovely collection of oversized mugs and insulated travel mugs. I kept extra travel mugs around so I could send one along with any friend who stopped by on her way to run errands. A lattè from Starbucks was a thoughtful gesture, a peace offering, a token of gratitude, a hug in a cup.

My personal checks are decorated with various coffee images, and a whole corner of my kitchen has been devoted to this important part of my life. A grinder, a Mr. Coffee coffeepot, a stack of filters for the coffeepot, a French Press, a plug-in teakettle to boil the water for the French Press, bottles of vanilla and almond syrups, and bags and containers of Starbucks and other specialty blends of coffee beans fill the space between the knives and the stand mixer. All of this needed to be out and within reach because in the winter, at 6:40 a.m. when I'm seeing the Teen off to school, it's dark and I really don't prefer to open my eyes completely until after my first cup, let alone dig through the pantry looking for the filters.

Every day started with coffee. No matter what. Once, the men and I went camping for a weekend and I decided I'd leave the coffee at home and do a weekend detox. By Saturday afternoon, my head was pounding, I was snapping at everyone, I couldn't think straight. I headed for the nearest grocery store and bought some instant. When I got back, I loaded my pantry, car, and camping bins with enough Starbucks Via that I would never be caught off-guard again.

I clearly needed this, and there was no reason to deny myself. Ever again.

So, up until this week, every morning, I've made or purchased a large cup of coffee to start my day.

Also, every morning for something like the last 2 years, I've wondered if I have IBS. Just a little nagging thought, and occasionally an inkling that it might be a more serious problem. I didn't say anything about it at my last checkup, and all other indicators pointed to an extremely healthy body, so I pushed these thoughts aside.

But in a recent conversation with a good friend who also happens to be a doctor, we were discussing similar digestive issues, gluten intolerance, celiac disease, etc. and I mentioned my own small concern.

"Maybe it's the coffee."

Just what I didn't want to hear. Just the reason I didn't mention this to my own doctor. I need my coffee. Sigh...

Hearing it from her did make me a little curious, however. Not curious enough to get a headache like that one at the campground, but curious. And besides, feeling that dependent on anyone or anything begins to create a little bit of resentment after a while.

I don't need you, I began to say, glaring at my cup. I can quit you anytime I want. You'll see.

The cup of brown liquid silently mocked me in return.

I limited myself to unsweetened iced tea for a day, just for kicks. Something I already like and drink. I just skipped the coffee this time.

And just like that, I'm better. And I didn't have a headache. Nor was I tired, foggy or crabby like I had been when I wasn't exercising enough last week. I felt, and continue to feel, just fine.

I think it's been three days now. There's a Mr. Coffee iced tea machine on my countertop between the mixer and the knives. I'm putting all the coffee paraphernalia away. At least for now.

Of all the habits I've broken, thought and behavior patterns I've changed, and things I've let go this last year, I thought this would be one of the hardest - and it turned out to be effortless. I don't even miss it.

Sometimes I surprise myself like that.

Aaaahhhh...

Remember All That Basil?

Savageman made pesto tonight.

This was a big deal. I don't remember the last time he tried to cook anything. He's pretty much happy with a bowl of granola or a protein bar or someone else's leftovers as a rule. If I or one of the kids makes something, he'll eat whatever it is without complaining. He's a wonderful sport in that regard - one of the things I love about him.

So, given that he's happy with whatever fills his belly, and that there's usually some kind of healthy food (or at least granola) around the house, he doesn't ever need to cook.

But tonight, on my first night back at kickboxing and karate classes, he took a bunch of that wonderful, local organic basil and made a big batch of delicious pesto.

The recipe:

4 cups basil
1/2 cup olive oil
2 cloves garlic
6 sprigs parsley
salt and pepper
1/4 cup pine nuts
1/2 cup grated Parmesan

He made a batch of linguine to go with it and I ate two big plates of it when I got home, hungry and tired from class. I washed it down with an unfiltered Belgian white beer, which was also quite wonderful.

Have I mentioned that Savageman totally rocks?

The Playlist

One of the reasons running has been feeling so great?

The music.

The music is what brings it all together. And my challenge has been to find the right songs, with the exact right cadence, to match my stride and keep me moving along.

Yesterday, I put together a playlist of songs I thought would work, and first thing this morning, I tested it out on a 2+ mile run.

Best songs so far:

Blurry by Puddle of Mudd
Steve McQueen by Cheryl Crow
You Found Me by the Fray
Mystery by the Indigo Girls
Shame On You by the Indigo Girls
Something to Believe In by Parachute
Bring Me To Life by Evanescence
Breathe by Melissa Etheridge
It Won't Take Long by the Indigo Girls
My Last Breath by Evanescence
Whisper by Evanescence
Deconstruction by the Indigo Girls

The closer the song is to the cadence of my running, the better. Blurry and You Found Me have been perfect. A few of the others require me to speed up a bit, which isn't such a bad thing. I think I'm running about 8-9 minute miles right now. Since I found mapmyrun.com, I've been able to keep better records of my neighborhood runs.

Still on the lookout for more good music with the same beat, but this is a good start.

As always, I'm amazed at how much better I feel when I start the day with a hard workout. The whole day, including the long car trip and visit with relatives, was such a pleasure.

OH Yeah!

I am so back!

Shortly after I hit "Publish" yesterday, my bad mood started to melt a bit. Little made a yummy fried fish recipe, complete with his own Special Sauce, and went on to make a yellow cake with chocolate buttercream icing. The cake fell on the floor as he was putting the finishing touches on it, but instead of getting upset, we laughed, salvaged what we could, and let That Dog clean up the rest.

And then everyone left the house except me.

And I went for a run.

I didn't care that it was 105 degrees, that I was supposed to go out with my friends in about an hour, that my ankle was still a little iffy... I just wanted to put my tunes on and GO.

So I went. And it was fine. I stuck to one mile, both because of the heat and the ankle. I used my Vibrams (a.k.a. The Crazy Feet) because I really do believe that barefoot running is healthier for the entire body.

Reading Born To Run by Christopher McDougall (a recent recommendation from one of my running friends) has confirmed my belief that the human foot is capable of doing what it needs to do without fancy running shoes or other equipment. Sometimes, the equipment itself is the problem. (The Teen's Sports / Orthopedic Doc said roughly the same thing to me last fall when the Teen was seeing him for shin splints and a suspected stress fracture.) There's a reason some of the best runners in the world are running around Kenya and Mexico in their bare feet.

I know, I'm such a freaking hippie, but I just don't get so much of what we do in our culture. Including the obsession with having the right shoes. I'm in Birkenstocks three seasons of the year and clogs in the winter. Barefoot at the dojang and in the house. And as close to barefoot as I can safely manage when I run.

I've only just started learning all there is to know about the Barefoot Running Movement, but after running with the Vibrams for the last few months, I can see why it's gaining such popularity. I never thought that running felt great before, but that's how I feel about it now. It feels great. It makes me want to eat nothing but healthy, natural food, pamper myself with quality sleep, engage my mind with interesting, productive activities, and blow myself a kiss in the mirror.

So I had this great run, came home, took a delightfully cool shower, and headed out to dinner with my friends at The Green Room. I felt positively euphoric, driving down 81, smiling like an idiot, singing with the radio... better than I've felt in days.

What a change!

Today we went to visit the organic farm where we get our veggies. We picked lots of fresh basil, some flowers, picked up some extra veggies, talked to the grass-fed meat guy, drank some freshly brewed iced tea with mint and agave nectar. I made a fabulously healthy dinner, accomplished a major sewing project for my niece and nephew's upcoming birthday, and am finishing today feeling healthy and strong and approaching normal.



Tomorrow I'm getting up super early and taking a good long run with my Crazy Feet.

:-)

Dropping Balls

Guess I dropped the ball for NaBloPoMo July somewhere mid-vacation.

C'est la vie.

For someone who often uses juggling too many balls as a metaphor for her life, I've dropped a few of them these last two weeks. Despite all of its positives, I think the vacation takes a lot out of me, especially the part before and after. I'm still trying to get back to feeling normal again.

The worst ball-drop was karate / kickboxing. It's been over 2 weeks, and while I did a little bit of running, swimming, and Middle's mini-cardio class at the beach house, it's really not the same as 8-10 hours per week of heart-pounding, sweat-drenching, gut-busting workout. Or the effect it has on my body, my mind, my mood, my productivity...

I feel like crap, and I'm downright surly to live with. It's like having constant PMS.

Was I like this all the time before karate? If so, I apologize.

I'm sitting here asking myself why I would let something so important go for so long.

I really did have good reasons. First, the vacation, of course. At one point, Savageman asked me if there was a dojo in NC who would take me in for the week. I guess the change in me wasn't subtle. But I really didn't think there was a martial arts exchange program, and I'm really not the kind of person who will put in that kind of work without other people in the room making me do it.

But there's also the leg. (Ankle?) It seems to be the peroneus longus down close to my ankle bone, and I don't know how I injured it, but it started the day we got to the beach and it still isn't 100%. Not that I'm testing it out at this point. Last weekend, when we got home, I ran 1.5 miles both Saturday and Sunday and it felt like someone was stabbing me with a needle with every step. I was almost afraid my fibula was fractured. Fearing the damage that might result from pushing it, I've taken it easy this week while the dojang was semi-closed for summer break.

I'm forcing myself to be patient, but the longer I wait, the more I'm dreading going back in, knowing how hard it's going to be, worrying about the injury, looking around and seeing how much needs to be done around the house...

... but the cleaning I'm doing is Angry Cleaning. I'm grouching at the kids, resentful toward Savageman, miserable with myself, with my ankle, with the heat, with the clutter in the house.

Note to Future Self, reading this somewhere down the road, thinking about blowing off karate for anything other than life-or-death reasons: Don't Do It.

Today I start easing myself back into my normal routine. I am telling my ankle exactly what I used to tell my elbows.

"You are one 60th of this body. Suck it up."

The elbows got the hint, and I hope the ankle does the same.

This is one ball I just can't drop if I want to keep the others going.

Kayaking and Other Adventures

It's been almost a week since I've had a martial arts class.

And I'm beginning to feel it.

Sure, I've gone running. I've been swimming in the ocean and the pool. I've been playing with the kids. But it's not the same, and I've been getting grouchy.

So today, Savageman and I went kayaking. Just for a little while, and just on the Sound, but it was a change of pace I needed.

See how happy I am?














Later, we did the Big Photo Shoot on the Beach - this time with a real photographer first. Hoping hers turned out well - ours weren't too bad.



Middle and I decided we needed to work out. He started on the beach. Yes, that's an aerial - he's a foot off the ground. Very Wow.



After we got back, he orchestrated an excellent mini-kickboxing class for us in the pool area (The Teen provided the music, but didn't join in). Afterward, we hit the hot tub and the pool.

I feel tons better.