Still Here

Just out of the habit of writing.

I'm staying busy with other things - more work than in previous years (got college to pay for now), still training in the early mornings and teaching women's and kids' classes 1-2 days per week. Goals at home include more math and physics than I've attempted before, cleaning and decluttering the place, and cooking new and interesting things for myself and sometimes Savageman (who doesn't eat much) and Little (who isn't so little now that he's 16 and learning to drive.)  Middle is in his second year of college, and the Eldest lives in his own place nearby and works for the State.

We have a new dog, a Border Collie / Australian Cattle Dog mix, and the same cat, who is not nearly as fond of this puppy as she was of the Pointer, who died at 13 back in June. I was determined not to sign on for another 10-15 year commitment, but Little insisted that his remaining years with us could not be dog-less, and, as it turned out, I was also feeling a significant hole in our family.  Even the cat was wandering around, missing her old pal, looking around hopefully when she heard a dog bark on TV.  We adopted this guy about a month later, after an intensive search.  He was about 6 months old, and was being fostered on a farm in Gettysburg.  He's been a nice addition, although the cat has decided he's a bit too young and playful for her tastes.  Maybe after he settles down a bit they will become friends.

This month marks the start of my 5th year of BJJ.  At this point, I had already earned my first black belt in my previous martial art, but I'm only about a third of the way there in this one, which is far more complicated and relies heavily on live combat with a non-cooperative partner.  Being older and smaller than most of my training partners is a blessing and a curse - I need to work much harder on technical details in order to make anything work, and I am constantly needing to adjust my expectations of myself and not get too frustrated or disappointed with progress that feels slower than I'd like.  That in itself is probably a good thing for me, life-wise.

Similarly, I've become much more serious about the academic pursuits I had only been tinkering with in previous years. The Guru, of course, has been my primary motivator, and I've been fortunate to have him in town frequently enough to work with me on the more challenging bits of both math and physics.  It's been an intense year of challenge and growth in both my ability and my confidence in myself, despite again feeling like the progress is slower than I'd like for it to be.  I have a tendency to jump around a lot, following my own, or sometimes his, bliss, which is good in many ways, because it keeps everything fresh and exciting, but I occasionally I become all too aware of the fact that not sticking with something long enough to master it works against me as well.  My goal now is to strike a balance between slogging through the boring parts in pursuit of mastery, and allowing my enthusiasm for a new challenge to lead me away for a while.

We've also been cooking a lot on these visits, and experimenting with new techniques and toys.  My favorite Chirstmas gift was a Sous Vide machine, with which I have been making tasty, perfect medium rare steaks and the like.  There's something meditative and satisfying about throwing yourself into a cooking project, bringing all the parts together to achieve a delicious conclusion.  It's something I used to do a lot pre-parenthood, or with Little when he was into it, but not so much in recent years.  It's been nice to rediscover my enthusiasm for culinary creativity.

It's been a good year, overall, with some ups and downs and things on both ends of that spectrum that keep us grateful for each other and for all that we have.  I'll try to write more if I think of it....