Today, a group of us gathered around her, lit candles, read affirmations, and massaged her with good-smelling lotions. We each presented her with a bead we had brought for her to make into a birth necklace.
These rituals, paired with beautiful music and delicious food, created a wonderful little retreat for us Birth Mamas. I don't think that my friend was the only person to leave feeling nourished by it.
To an outsider, I can see how this "alternative baby shower," might look a little odd. But I think many can agree that, in our culture, we don't have enough of these kinds of rituals that bring us together to celebrate these major milestones in our lives. And when we do get together to celebrate a new bride-to-be or mother-to-be, the focus is too often on the "stuff" - and not on the person and the milestone we're celebrating.
Spiritualism has given over to commercialism.
Our gifts to her today were our beads, our hands, our voices, and our wisdom. And the constant reminders that she is not alone and has a "tribe" to draw upon should she need us during her birth, as she learns to breastfeed again, or as she struggles with the new challenges of being a mother of two.
Isn't that what a new mother really needs?
1 comment:
This made me tear up. We really forget about this important stuff in this culture. Becoming a mother of two is a BIG DEAL but it's forgotten; I think people figure that it was a big deal the first time and now it's old hat. But it is just as big a change, perhaps.
I love this blessingway idea (and story of this one). And the beads/necklace are just lovely.
A good friend of mine is about 2 weeks away from becoming a mother of two. I'm trying to go out with her once a week, but I find myself overcome with my own stresses lately. I feel selfish, because she's about to face a whole big change and I should be helping her enjoy this time. I also don't want her to think that life becomes hell once the second baby arrives, even though that seems to have been MY situation! :) I adore both my kids but cannot really handle being a mother of two. Hopefully my friend will fare better.
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