But Really, I'm a Jiu Jiterio

Nice try, running.  It's not you, it's me. We can still be friends and hang out together sometimes.

Apparently, two weeks is the magic number. This weekend, I started wondering about my pal, and wondering if he was wondering about me as well.  I rolled with Savageman for a while yesterday morning, and that helped a little, but rolling with a reluctant partner who doesn't know how to attack - or how to counter my attacks - doesn't really give me the adrenaline rush I feel like I've been missing. I thought about reaching out to the pal and seeing where he's at, but tonight he beat me to it. 

We're resuming tomorrow morning. 

It's been interesting, this little quasi-experimental situation that's presented itself.  If I've ever wondered what combat sports actually do for my well-being, and how long it takes for those benefits to be felt (or to fade), it's been made fairly clear by this pandemic. 

I was still anxious during the first week after resuming, but by the end of the second week, I felt like myself again. After stopping, I seem to still be good for the first week. After two weeks, I'm still feeling energetic and upbeat, but now I frequently feel a squeezing sensation in my chest, and I have to force myself to take a deep breath. This is the same thing I was feeling during BJJ Cessation 1.0.  An elephant on my chest. I think it's interesting that my brain isn't experiencing any anxiety yet, but my body is already a step ahead in the process. Running feels good, and there's a release of endorphins after running more than two miles that scares the elephant away for a short time. But it was back with a vengeance while we were walking the dog tonight. Good air in, bad air out. 

I was relieved when my pal reached out tonight, because my mind had been spinning all day, trying to think of a way to get Savageman to work with me more, or a way to get more out of my solitary workouts. Nothing was coming to mind. The pal described his mood as "meh" - so I guess this is something we both need pretty badly. There's just something unique about rolling. Starting your day with simulated murder floods your brain with the best neurochemistry and puts the stresses of the rest of the day in some kind of perspective. 

Packing my bag and getting to bed....