Thursday, December 20, 2012

This is It

It's December 20, 2012, and according to a lot of superstitious people, the world is supposed to end tomorrow.

I don't happen to be one of them.  I already have weekend plans.

But that doesn't mean that the whole idea of the End being Near didn't capture my imagination a bit.

When I first heard about this prediction, about 3 years ago, it got me thinking, and asking myself, if I knew I only had a few years left, how would I spend them?

And then I went and did that.

Because, honestly, Mayans or not, none of us is immortal; none of us knows what life has in store for us.  And the worst thing I could imagine was finding myself at the end of my life and having Regrets. 

So even though deep down, I believe this Mayan prediction is nonsense, I have to give it some credit, since the idea of it has had enormous impact on my decision-making over these last years.

I have made bold decisions.  Taken risks.  Refused to be anything less than my authentic self.  I've let down my guard and opened myself up in new and courageous ways, resulting in the experiences of both incredible friendships and also of painful loss.  I've redefined my roles of wife and mother.  Redefined my relationship with my body.  Examined myself and made the changes I found myself needing. Fed myself with experiences for which I had been starving.  Dedicated myself to a rigorous course of mental and physical discipline.  Found ways to give back to my community.  Learned things I had previously thought I was too late in life to learn.

I've been a sponge, absorbing all of the experiences and challenges and connections and pure bliss I could manage to soak up.  "Sure, why not?" has been my mantra - and I've rarely regretted saying it.

Today was Thursday.  I got up, went into work to get set up to sub in the truly challenging classrooms - the emotional and behavioral support classes, the autistic and intellectually handicapped classes, the multiple disability classes.  After that, I took two exhilarating hours of karate, went out to lunch with Savageman and four of my favorite karate friends, spent some time with the kids, taught my childbirth class.  The Teen's team took second place in a basketball tournament.  Middle went to a concert at the High School and came home with friends.  Little helped us make a snack and we hung out until bedtime.  I'm writing now while Savageman cleans up and then we'll finish the movie we started last night.  One of us may even get a massage. 

If this were indeed to be my last day on Earth, I have no complaints or regrets.  This was a good day, spent with people I love, feeling challenged and fulfilled, doing things I love to do.

String together 365 days like this a year and you find yourself living the life you're meant to live.

Grateful for it all.  Every bit of it.

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