Friday, September 24, 2010


Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.

The classic stages of grief following a loss, a change, a disappointment.

They are usually presented this way - as stages, as if it were a linear process. First one, then the next, and so on. Something you can quantify and track, as if you were watching the progress of a download on your computer.

What many people don't realize is that there is nothing linear about it. There can be a great deal of jumping back and forth between these stages. You can think that you're solidly in the Acceptance stage - and have been there for weeks - and then you wake up one morning and you're back to Depression. Or Anger. Any of the other stages. And it hits you as hard as it did the first time around.

And you think to yourself: I will never get over this.

Being reminded that this is normal, and that these days will begin to happen less and less often, helps, of course. Having someone who will drop everything to listen and comfort and dispense life wisdom helps too. I've been fortunate in that.

Praying that tomorrow I wake up firmly in a place of Acceptance again.

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