Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Day 23 - Please Tell Me this is Rock Bottom

... and it's only going to get better from here.

Money concerns.  Insurance concerns.  Feeling like the world is pressing down on my head.

And there's nothing I can do about it.

I keep trying to get back to that be-grateful-for-what-you-have mindset and the just-relax-this-is-going-to-be-okay mindset.  It's like wandering around in the woods looking for that cool spot with the pretty view you remembered enjoying, but now you're searching and searching and can't find it and you're beginning to wonder if it was all in your imagination to begin with.

I'm sure I'll eventually get back there.  I just need to snap out of this.

Right now, I just want to crawl in a hole and hide and not come out ever.

I will force myself to take class tonight, which I'm dreading but will probably make me feel much better. 

I may even look at my NaNoWriMo fiction.  After a few rewrites, I could maybe have it to the point where I would be comfortable having someone look at it. 

So much of the novel deals with survival - self-sufficiency, frugality, living day-to-day on severely limited resources.  Revisiting it under the current circumstances will certainly be interesting.  It would probably benefit both the story and my real life to go back to researching these topics in greater depth.

Sigh.  This is going to get better.  And I am grateful for what I have.  I'll snap out of this.

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